Posted December 30th, 2005 by Matt
Filed under: Football

Mark May: Well, the apostles weigh about 160# apiece on average and….USC’s OL averages 300 apiece. I’m saying SC runs on God’s chosen.

Herbstreit: Don’t forget Carrol would have a whole month to game plan for the Lord. I bet in that one month that he could find a way to blitz, get the ball to Jarrett on slants. Y’know.

Lou Holtz: What if God, like they told us at Sister Mary of Ignatius, where I was taught by Mother Francine, God rest her soul, what if the Living God sent a wave of locusts and a famine on USC’s defense?

May: How much do the locusts weigh?

Holtz: Shaddup.

Herbstreit: Coach. I, ugh, know what you’re saying but I gotta still pick USC over the Lord of the Heavens and the Oceans. A famine could affect USC’s run game but then how do you shut down that passing game?

Holtz: A rain of endless fire. Thatsh how !!!!!

Herbstreit: I …I don’t know, coach. I just not feeling our Creator and Father in this matchup.

May: How much does fire weigh?

Holtz: Shaddup !!!

Herbstreit: USC 38 God 34. Turnovers decide it.

May: How much does God weigh?

Holtz and Herbstreit: Shaddup !!!!


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