Posted October 4th, 2006 by Matt
Filed under: Football

OU Sucks

It doesn’t get much better than listening to some OU sucks songs during the week leading up to the [tag]Oklahoma[/tag] game. And Chance McClain from Sports Radio 610 down in Houston has hooked us up with some nice OU suckage songs from his band Apollo XVIII.

Some background on Apollo XVIII. Chance McClain and Frank Bullington comprise the band and both went to UT for a total of about 5 semesters. Chance went on an academic scholarship in the Plan II program and failed out spectacularly. Frank had equal success. But both of them left the 40 acres with our horns up, forever bleeding burnt orange. If you want to hear more of their stuff, check them out on MySpace.

So here are the songs, None Suck Better and OU Sucks. Both equally great. The lyrics to None Suck Better are available after the jump.

Apollo XVIII – None Suck Better

Apollo XVIII – OU Sucks

Apollo XVIII – None Suck Better lyrics:

Paper cuts, lawn darts, silent but deadly farts,
AIDS, Ants, Humidity, John Tesh, Stupidity
Liars, Lies, Lice, Roth
Priapism, Pessimism, The ice monster on Hoth
The Price of Gas, the price of rent…the price is Right, the plague
The Unabomber, Jeffrey Dahmer, sinusitis, Squeaky brakes
Out-of-order ATMS, PMS, MSG,
DUI, Double dippers, Floods, flies, flats, fleas

All of these things they suck it’s true
but none suck more than O.U.

Going bald, halitosis, infomercials, notes with post-its,
Tom Green, earthquakes, Allergies, rats, snakes
Dead beat dads, Celine Dion, car dings, Neon Deon
Fabio, rubberneckers, Taxes, faxes, non sequiturs
404, not found converting Dong to British pounds
Having back hair, being broke, road rage, Religious cults
fraud, crack, warts, Sids, DOS, gnats, war, zits,
Rust, debt, guilt, Spam, Asbestos and dishpan hands

All of these things they suck it’s true
but none suck more than O.U.

Hanson, Charles Manson, Soccer, non-stick pans that stick
Mistaking cooking powdered chocolate when you want a Nestle Quick
Having to work on holidays, hiccups, jock itch, hurricanes
Jihad, the 4th Vacation movie, L R. Hubbard, Nazi’s, pain
Beggars, Bums, and hobos, paparazzi, pop-up ads
Burnt Popcorn, pot holes, propaganda, Botox, bow ties, and boy bands (like New Kidz)
Chiggers, cheaters, beepers, and dry heaving in the can
The spins, and dander and panhandlers, and dandruff, Rather, Dan


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  1. reply to  #1


    hookem horns and ou does sux i hope texas runs up the score on them because ou fans are all cocky thinkin they are the best team in the nation… well lets shut them up 2morrow and kick there butt

  2. reply to  #2


    this is the funniest shit i’ve ever heard.

  3. reply to  #3

    Rusty Shackleford



  4. reply to  #4



  5. reply to  #5


    I have to say that is really funny, job well done!

  6. reply to  #6


    Why will Texas never fall into the ocean?
    Because Oklahoma sucks.


  7. reply to  #7

    Shaun Hankson

    Plays well in Stillwater too!!

  8. reply to  #8


    ou sucks my freakin dick becausethey are all gay

  9. reply to  #9


    we def. need a new OU sucks song.
    my family & i live in Norman, Oklahoma otherwise known as hell.
    & we get a lot of crap for being texas fans

    they have MANY MANY texas sucks songs
    we need some more ou oness

  10. reply to  #10


    Fantastic stuff!

  11. reply to  #11


    badass love it you cant spell c_ck s_cker without ou

  12. reply to  #12


    i love the sooner fans that actually visit this site. I have never set foot on a sooner website except to check the team’s official site to see who’s been arrested, shot, or kicked off the team….. sooner boomers crack me up

  13. reply to  #13


    @courtneyy:i live here in oklahoma city i am a texas fan and i hate having to even pass thru norman! keep living the dream and keep us texas fans alive out there!!

  14. reply to  #14


    @Rusty Shackleford: How dare you use the name Rusty Shackleford. King of the Hill is a Texas show and Dale is a confirmed Texas fan. Hook ’em and give us our show back

  15. reply to  #15


    OU can kiss my italian ass!

  16. reply to  #16

    jsoseph saucedo

    Now I know what. B. C. S. stands for… Boomer Choking Sooner!!!

  17. reply to  #17


    Or does. B. C. S. Stand for. Bob Choking Stoops????

  18. reply to  #18


    Where is texas at are they even ranked I love haters! Before you go all crazy get a team that can stay on top or even just # 25 in ranking. And please pull those yellowish brown teeth from your head coach’s mouth it almost makes me throw-up but iam always laughing 2 much

  19. reply to  #19


    Oklahoma is the trailor park of the US! Dumb white trash Okie! Kiss my Texas Ass!

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