40 Acres Sports

Well there definitely isn’t as much fanfare going into the Red River Rivalry this weekend with both teams losing last week, but that doesn’t mean we still can’t start some of the trash talking between the schools.

Chance McClain from Sports Radio 610 down in Houston The Houston Chronicle hooked us up last year with some nice OU suckage songs from his band Apollo XVIII. So here are the songs, None Suck Better and OU Sucks. Both equally great. The lyrics to None Suck Better are available after the jump.

Apollo XVIII – None Suck Better

Apollo XVIII – OU Sucks

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Does Texas need to find a mean streak to beat Oklahoma? Definitely need to find some way to focus and find more consistency.

Not sure what to even think about this one, but the San Antonio Express-News is reporting that Texas A&M Coach Dennis Franchione had been selling inside information about his team to select boosters. This “secret” newsletter, called the “VIP Connection,” was available to these boosters for the hefty price of $1200 / year. Apparently detailed information about players’ injury status was made available, something Coach Fran usually keeps under wraps. Sounds like a sports gambler’s dream to me.

The Aggy athletic director Bill Byrne said that he was not aware of the newsletter (yeah right), and the money from the newsletter supposedly went to finance his personal website, coachfran.com. I don’t know about you, but if I was getting that kind of money solely for my website, my site would look quite a bit better than Coach Fran’s.

Yet another black mark on what is turning out to be some rough times for Coach Fran’s reign in Aggyland. The funny thing about all of this? If A&M was actually winning games, this probably wouldn’t even be a big deal.

Source

Texas A&M gets blown out by an average Miami team. The Aggies are wannabes.

I don’t know what’s wrong with you guys, why can’t you just leave Coach Fran alone!!!

Amazing work. Incredibly funny stuff and nice job working in the shots at other Big 12 coaches, though I’m not sure which coach showers with his sister. The Tay Zonday/Chocolate Rain reference was also perfect. It’s rare to find an Aggie who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

If you’ve been living under a bridge here’s the inspiration video from a Britney Spears fan (and Seth Green mocking him) who posted their deranged impassioned plea to America on YouTube.

As if living in the state of Oklahoma wasn’t bad enough, you now have to wear protective undergarments if you want to go out at night wearing burnt orange.

Allen Michael Beckett of Oklahoma City grabbed on and wouldn’t let go of another man’s junk in a bar just because he was wearing a Texas shirt. Beckett held on long enough to tear Brian Thomas’ scrotum. He has been charged with felony assault over the incident.

Check out more on the story below from NewsOK:

Thomas said Beckett, whom he had never met, called him “everything under the sun” for wearing a Longhorns T-shirt into the bar. He said he and his friend sat at a table in the corner and tried to ignore the other man, but other man — who apparently is a University of [tag]Oklahoma[/tag] fan — kept screaming at him.

Thomas said he decided he’d had enough after about 20 minutes of Beckett’s abuse so he went to the bar to pay his tab. When he turned around, he said Beckett grabbed his crotch and refused to let go.

Thomas hit the other man several times before several bar patrons intervened, but Thomas said Beckett didn’t let go until Thomas heard his scrotum tear and blood ran down his leg. Thomas, who grew up a Texas fan, said it took more than 60 stitches to close his wound.

There may be more to come on this story but for now the only conclusion to come to is that people from Oklahoma are insane and like to grab other guys’ balls. At least Aggies keep their hands to themselves and only squeeze their own. This whole story is nuts.

ESPN is again running their ESPNU Championship Series where their “experts” go week by week predicting who will win all the big games and ranking the teams. Check out the video below of Rece Davis, Lou Holtz, and Mark May discussing week six, including the Red River Rivalry:

I’m not sure why Holtz and May think Texas winning would be an upset. If Texas and [tag]Oklahoma[/tag] both reach October undefeated as they expect, since Texas is ranked higher in both the preseason AP and Coaches poll Texas would likely be favored to win this game. The idea that it would be an upset bothers me more than May and Davis picking the Sooners. Of course earlier this week Davis predicted Texas would win the Big 12 and appear in the BCS title game. I’m not sure how that would work. Stuff like this is why I have to put “experts” in quotes.

The main reason I posted this is to point out ESPN’s new video site. It’s a surprisingly nice, YouTube-y embeddable flash site that is still in beta. They’re putting a ton of quality videos up there featuring highlights from SportsCenter and obviously their features as well. You can even comment on and rate videos. Looks like a nice start from their new editor-in-chief.

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I’m not one to hang out on Aggie message boards but fortunately there are Texas fans that do and then point out the great ones. Chargee over at Orangebloods found this piece of comic gold on TexAgs’ football board…

WineberryovrGold:

Had an interesting conversation with my friend… He brought up the Ags by asking me how well I thought they would do this season. I told him I was very excited and beleived our team would finish with 10+ wins and a possible Big 12 championship. After hearing this he started to vehemently agree with my points, and even went so far as to say we had a decent chance of going undefeated. This really got me pumped up because he usually never gives A&M much respect, and he is usually right to not make any lofty predictions.

I can’t imagine a Texas fan on Hornfans or Orangebloods coming on and saying “hey my random friend thinks we’ll be good this year!!” Aggies have such a strange and sad longing for external validation, but I guess being little brother for most of the last 100 years will do that to you. And how exactly does one “vehemently agree” with a person? How in the world would that work?

Of course, like any thread on an A&M message board the responses to the original post are just as good:

BaronVonAggie:

We’re like a hot chick who doesnt realize how hot she is.

First off, no you aren’t. Aggies are more like the fat chick who every year claims she’s going to lose 100 pounds and get hot but when swimsuit season rolls around there she is still at a deuce and a half. And even if they were “the hot chick,” how exactly can you personally claim that you’re the hot chick who doesn’t know you’re hot? That’s like saying, “Not only am I the best looking person in the room, but I’m modest too.” It doesn’t work that way.

Aggie_Fanatic:

there is not a team on our schedule that we are not better than. Not only that but we will win convincingly against every team we play.

That’s a lot of confidence in a team that’s beaten one good team the last four years (unfortunately it was Texas) and struggled to get past teams like Army, Kansas and Baylor last season. The Kool-Aid in College Station must be even stronger this year, how else would someone come to the conclusion that they “honestly think we have a 33% chance to win the BCS Championship.” When is the last time the Aggies even finished the year in the top 25?

A&M will admittedly be better this year (though there’s still a lot of questions about their defense), but only an Aggie would make the leap from one 12-7 win over a team with an injured QB and a 35 point loss to an average Pac-10 team to undefeated and untested national champs. I love August.

With the latest Oklahoma penalties coming down from the NCAA, CBS Sportsline ranked the top ten cheatingest™ programs of all time and the Big 12 is well represented. Our good friends the Sooners can’t quite top the list and fall in at number 3.

Even funnier, though the Aggies fall in at number 8 on this list they’re the school worst at cheating.

8. Texas A&M. The state of Texas, football and rules violations go together like ham, egg and cheese. Might deserve a higher slot, but the Aggies’ cheat-to-win ratio is low. In other words, it hasn’t been money well spent.

So essentially the Aggies are one of the NCAA’s worst cheaters and they still suck. If you’re going to do something, at least do it up like Bob Stoops and the Sooners and get a few national championships out of the deal. At least it looks like Dennis Franchione may have the Aggies back to their cheating and losing ways. Good job guys.

If they all cheat, why is OU the one always getting caught? Richard Justice points out Oklahoma’s lost storied history of cheating.